Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Wordful/less Wednesday

Happy Birthday Wonderful Sister!
Yesterday was my sisters birthday. My baby sister. My best friend. There are so many words. There are not enough words. I've written and erased. I decided I would write my memories; there are too many. She and I have laughed and cried, we've fought and made up;
we've grown....
into true sisters.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Nice Rack!

Like the show isn't bad enough.....

Get your Jersey Show nickname and please....

post yours for me!

Mine is "The Rack" and I have to say; sooooo not true! lol

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Wordful Wednesday

I had this really great post for today....
but now?
I've got nothin'

Monday, January 11, 2010

Strip Down

I was watching Oprah today and they were showing the life of a family in crisis. They started off with a look into the family in their "current" routine.
Mom wakes up and checks her phone; teenage son wakes up and immediately begins his texting; Dad wakes up and gets on the internet to check his email. Finally the 5 year old son wakes up and is parented by the tv.
The whole family is living in the home, together. Sadly, the are existing, apart. They are totally disconnected.
The Mother made the comment, "the people that live within these walls, are the people we should be treating the best;" It's true on so many levels and I appreciate so much that they came forward with their story.
Sadly, what I realized is that this family is not alone. They are becoming more and more of the majority. In this age of communication, we are even further distanced from each other.
Through this I was thinking back to my childhood and our routines. We weren't the perfect family by any means, we could become disconnected absolutely. What I believe the difference between a modern day disconnect and what I recall as a disconnect was when children become teenagers it's normal to have them push boundaries when they are finding their own identity. Normal sort of disconnect, don't you think?
So, my memories were of sitting at the dinner table every night; no tv, no calls, etc (there wasn't much more actually.... we had no computer, no cell phones). Sometimes, I remember just wanting to die at the thought of having to sit down for a half hour of pure uninterrupted conversation with my family. I knew there were going to be questions and conversation....
about the day
how was school? how did you do on your xx test? did you study? did you do your homework? why are you so angry/upset/crying/yelling/ignoring me?
inquiries about future days/weekend plans
when is that xx test? what are your plans this weekend? why are you hanging around xx? why are you so angry/upset/crying/yelling/ignoring me?
oh my gosh; the politics and news of the day
why are you angry/upset/crying/yelling/ignoring me?
lol.....ok, so you get the picture.
There always an emotion and not all of the conversations ended in some form of upset. There was plenty of laughter too. I remember when I was very young my Mom taught us manners at the table (funny thought, eh) and we would all wait to see if we could catch Dad eating before he put his napkin on his lap or saying grace.... those experiences always ended in laughter.
There were no calls after 6pm when I was young and later, it was 9pm. That rule was meant for everyone; parents and kids.... no exceptions. We tested this of course, we tested everything. But again, there were rules.... they were to keep our family structure sound.
I have realized that I need to be more aware of all of the "outside" noise that sometimes makes us forget that time is fleeting and sacred.
It's so fleeting that I remember so vividly when my son was just a baby, and then I blinked....
next thing I knew he was 5.....
I sneezed and all the sudden looked and he's now 9.....
I don't want to look back and wish I had spent more quality time.
I want him to laugh, and cry; to sing, and yell.... with me.....
So tonight, the tv's were off.... the phones were off.... and I read my son to sleep.....
it was joyous.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Got an Ear?

A friend has been having issues lately with her family. You see, they call her with their issues and she "fixes" them. They have become the children, and she has become the parent. They are all sisters. Unfortunately for her, this is weighing on her heavily. I truly understand the need to "fix" things; to want to rid others of pain, of suffering, of any unnecessary anguish. However, what tends to happen is; the issues become yours and no longer the person you are trying to help. We've had lots of talks regarding this; we've talked in depth about not destroying your own emotional and physical health to save anothers.... to allow others to have learning opportunities through trial and error..... to grow up.
It took me years and years to not be a "fixer" and to learn successfully how to be a good listener.
So my question to you all is.....
Are you a fixer or a supportive listener?
And, if you are a listener.... do you really really listen? Do you resist the urge to offer advice? Do you offer support with open ended questions or do you move the focus to you?
As I said, it took me years to learn how to successfully listen. I used to either attempt to resolve the issue or direct my friends/family on how to solve their issue with "you shoulds, you need to's", etc... and you know what? I was doing such a disservice to them. So, now I attempt to be involved in a supportive role. I thrive to be a good friend and a good listener. A good shoulder... but no longer the fixer.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Wordful Wednesday

I give you..... the princess.

My angel of a niece.

I adore her.

When I see her; I see my sister at 3yrs old and so many memories come rushing back.


She is so much like me too.
Especially that little attitude.

She makes me laugh.

And enjoy all of her little "moments".

This reaction was brought to us on a beautiful sunny day in San Diego at Balboa Park....
instigated by my lovely son.....

she was OVER him.


Thanks to Angie over at 7 clown circus for wordful Wednesday....

If you'd like to visit her, please click here

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I have no excuse

Really, there is no excuse for my absence. I miss my blog, I miss my bloggy friends. Life just got in the way but what does that mean? Life.... is life.... It is what it is, right? So, please.... forgive me. Allow me back into the blog world with you all again. I miss you.

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My Blog Awards!