Writers Workshop

The Prompts:

1.) If you were starring on American Idol TONIGHT and HAD to sing, what song would you choose and why.

Oh gosh, I would never be starring on American Idol.... wouldn't happen. I couldn't even make it to the auditions; you know... with the "bad" singers! But, a song.... hmmm. I lOVE "a change is gonna come" by Sam Cooke. So, I thoroughly enjoy butchering that one whenever given the opportunity... in the privacy of my home of course!

2.) Take a picture of yourself right this minute without primping and explain to us why it is you have not washed your hair today.

Ok, so here I am. I didn't wash my hair but since it was straight (it's naturally curly), I didn't need to so... lucky me! I worked from home today because I was the lucky winner of a trip to the Dr for a colposcopy because of a abnormal pap. WhOa! It was joyous, let me tell you. This was my first one, and I'm not looking forward to doing it again soon. Anyway, this is me.... before my appointment; when life was "less crampy"! lol.

3.) I just asked Pat to help me with a writing prompt so here's his: "What do you think about the NBA All Star game"...blech.

Ummm, yikes. I didn't watch it. I did however watch the slam dunk contest because I think that's pretty damn cool to see. I like that it's fun, and no stress and my husband isn't cussing at the tv while it's going on. Plus the kid thinks it's cool, therefore... I think it's cool. I'm just a follower.

4.) What's your number one pet peeve? Develop a punishment for anyone caught in the act.

I can't tell you my number one pet peeve; they change often. I do have issues however with people that say "couple, three". Like "So, a couple three years ago...." It's not a big deal, it just always makes me translate in my head "So, six years ago...." Where does it come from? Can't you just say "a few years ago"? I'm just confused..... I have no punishment, I just want to understand. lol

5.) Write about something mean you did to a sibling growing up.

I'm sorry Sis. But, I still hear about it from you all the time, so sometimes I'm not that sorry.... cuz' I'm kind of over it really. I'm just like "seriously? we were like tiny kids and you just weren't that bright to fall for it". Moving on to my confession.... When we were little we had one of those spring rocking horses. We loved it. We played and played and played on it. But here's the thing. I couldn't figure out (while I was jumping and rocking away) exactly which springs caused the horse to rock and move. It puzzled me often. So, I asked if my lovely little sister would put her finger between one set of springs so we could figure it out. Of course, I had to promise not to jump. Ummmm. So.... I jumped. Guess what? It was that spring that made the horse move. Actually, it was all of the springs. Ummmm. Since I'm sharing. Her finger nail eventually fell off. It grew back though. And, I got in a ton of trouble. For the 18,000 time.... I am sorry. Really. But.... We had to determine how it worked. Didn't we?

Tara and the car

Oh Mama Kat and your writer's workshop prompts.... just pull things out that have been sitting in safe keeping for years, untouched. Then, you ask a question and it sprouts wings and we are off reliving them all over again.

Tell us about a lie you later regretted.

When I was twenty, I moved away from warm and sunny, beautiful Southern California. I had made a big decision that the life I was leading was not the best.... ok, it was destructive and I probably wouldn't be here typing this to you now if I had not left. My best friend, Mon and her husband (who I also grew up with) Cha, had come home on a visit from Ohio (he was in the Air Force and recently stationed at Wright Patt). They saw my life unwinding into full tilt chaos and asked if I would like to come back with them. I saw it as a great little adventure, some time away to clear my head. I said yes. So, away we went.

I lived with them a short amount of time, until the couch got a little too lumpy and the company a little to cramped..... then moved into a tiny (and I mean TINY) room in a house - I know this isn't about me and that room, but oh my gosh.... I have pics somewhere and I WILL find them... but it was a converted side porch that could only fit a chair; and when I say chair, I mean a dinner table chair, a bed that was the width of a toddler bed but longer (what are those called), a nightstand behind my head and a wardrobe closet in the corner. That was it. There was no other room for anything else. Oh, this house is a whole 'nother story in itself! I had a job at a music store, which just happened to be 1/2 block from my house and life was good. Life was as good as it could be I should say, when you don't have a car. I couldn't even afford the gas if I did have a car so it was probably good that I didn't have one. I survived on eggs, and rice with my 'extra money'. I should explain, that there were priorities. I had no phone, no tv, etc... so the priorities went like this.... rent, beer/liquor/cigarettes, food. I was always broke but it was so much fun. Now, everyone at this music store was great. We were all friends, and hung out every night. We had a blast. We were young and out of control. Here's the difference between me, and "them".... They all lived at home, with their parents. They all had cars. So, when they were at work, they would allow me to borrow their cars to do my grocery shopping, or laundry, go buy their dinners while they were at work, etc... It was a great deal. We were like a little family there and it just all worked out well. Tara and I were best friends (at work). She was a Air Force "brat" and lived on base in one of those nice houses officers live in. Her family was all from Texas, and they definitely had southern charm. They were very kind and very sweet to me. I'm sure they thought I was a bad influence on Tara because I lived on my own and liked to party (so did she) but they never let on. On night, I had finished my grocery shopping and was on my way back to my house, then heading over to pick Tara up from work. I was driving along, minding my own business and I heard this SMACK! Let's try this again.... SMACK! I couldn't figure out what the heck had happened, until I went to look in the side mirror (passenger side) and... IT WAS GONE. I had hit - with the side mirror - one of those big orange traffic cones that are weighted down with sand - going 40 mph. I killed that mirror. It wasn't shattered, it was gone. It was no more, no mas', nient'altro, nao mais. Just gone. There was no fixing this. My thoughts at this point were "shit, shit, shit, shit, shit". Oh, did I mention that she had only had this car about 2 months at this point? Ummm, yeah. Ok, back to my thoughts "shit, shit, shit, what am I gonna do, shit, shit, shit". I went home, unloaded my groceries and called my best best friend, Mon. She would have a solution. She knew I was ass broke and couldn't fix this. She would help me fix this. She had no answers. Honestly, I can't remember what she even said; that's how helpful it was to me and my situation. I'm sure that it was something morally ethical and correct. She was and is moral and ethical. However, she wasn't me, and I was freaking the heck out. So, the lie came. I drove over to pick Tara up from work and explained the series of events that caused there to be an apparent missing side mirror. I went in to shop, and when I came out.... the mirror was gone! Someone must have hit it in the parking lot; you know how crazy people get driving through there. And I didn't notice until I started driving away but my gosh, can you believe it? Yes. She did. She believed me. And I felt like dirt. I felt like a dead worm, under the dirt. I lied, but I didn't know what else to do. I was barely making it as it was, and now? Replace a side mirror? I didn't even know how much that would cost. I couldn't chance it. So, that's how it went. Her Dad was mad but how could they blame me? I wasn't even there when it happened. And so, we continued on. Her mirror got replaced, we continued to go out, then slowly.... snail slowly.... our friendship faded away. I know these things sometimes happen. It's life. She was going to college, had met new friends, things change. That probably wasn't what bothered me the most though. My confidant, my best friend.... Mon. We shared everything with each other. But now, she started to fade away. She stopped returning my calls, stopped taking my calls (was conveniently never home), then they moved back to California. Gone. Left. No goodbyes. I was without my best friend. The best friend I had since 7th grade. She and I were gone. Like that mirror. Just gone. Shattered. I was confused and lost, but moved on. I had lots of friends, and those two were no longer around so off I went. I talked to Tara months after our friendship had ended, just out of the blue. She told me that Mon and her had become close friends and that Mon had told her what had really happened with the car. I tried to explain where I was at during that time, but she didn't want to hear it. She just wanted me to know, that she knew. Done. I wished her luck in life, and left it at that. But I still missed my best friend. A year later (when I was 24) Mon called me from California. Just like Tara, but so different. With love, and happiness. With forgiveness and understanding. She was pregnant with her first baby. She and I talked. It was like we had never been apart. I went home to visit her. And that baby? I'm that baby's Godmother. Mon and I are still best friends. But I almost lost her. All over a car, a mirror, and a bad decision.

Writers Workshop.... a joyous moment

Mama Kat.... she just never fails to find good prompts for us all to work with. This week was no different. Stop by and visit her if you haven't had the opportunity.

So, this week there were some good prompts but only one REALLY stood out for me;

"other than the birth of a child or your wedding, write about a joyous moment"

You know, every time I look into my sons eyes when he's sleeping I experience pure joy. Every time my husband holds me in his arms, I feel it.

But really, when I get right down to it... right at my core.... what makes me "joyous"?

It's who I am, who I've become. The person that allows me to feel all of the joy of those around me; the joy of family, of friends, of society, and of the earth itself.

So, I choose to speak to when I remember finally feeling joyous about me. The very first time. Growing up I had low self esteem. I thought that external influences were who/what provided validation for who I was and I honestly.... I didn't truly know who I was after all.

When I left home at 20, I thought the only way to be happy and "fulfilled" required that I always have a man around. He would prove my worth and I had to be make him my first priority, not me.

Finally, I decided that I deserved better. It was my action (or inaction) that would determine my self-worth and I was the one in control; no one else.

I became powerful. I became independent. I was even a bit selfish.

Thinking back on it now, what I remember most was just how thrilled I was with being who I was, where I was, and looking forward to my future.

It was when I TRULY became a women.

I came into my own, and boy did I own it!

I stayed up late, hung out with friends, went out when I felt like it, dated (and yes, slept with) who I wanted, called boys back only if I felt like it, and enjoyed life.

I laughed a lot. I danced a lot. It was joyous!

And you know what?

When I finally knew who I was; when I understood what I wanted and needed out of life, LOVE found me. I was open to accepting TRUE and UNCONDITIONAL love and it was right there, just waiting for me.

And that was joyous. Life has been joyous ever since.

Because I am enough.

Writers Workshop.... my man.

Ok, this weeks assignment with Mama Kat

Choose a prompt... I can do this!

The Prompts:

1.) Describe your significant other's most attractive quality (on the inside)

Ahhh, liking this one... so many to choose from

2.) Tell about a time you stole something.

Hmmm, stealing.... notsomuch! Let's clarify... not that I haven't stolen, but that story would be LONG! Oh, and I'd have to pick just one? Can't do it.
3.) Choose a poem you like. Take the last line and use it as the first line of your own poem.

Poems? Unless it's vulgar, I don't think I could do it.

4.) Write about a scary encounter with one of your old professors.

Oh, gosh... the only "scary" encounter I had was when my art professor told me I was "heavy handed" with my charcoal drawing and I just wanted to heavy hand his arse through the door.

So, we begin with the love of my life. My heart and soul. My joy.

There are so many reasons that I love my husband and I know you've requested just one.

BUT just one?

Ok, let's fix this. I can fix this.

Here is the MOST ATTRACTIVE QUALITY.... It's his heart.

Within that lovely heart of his...

He is kind and gentle, sincere and caring, non judgmental and sweet... SO, SO sweet. He wakes up at 1am to take the dogs and the boy to the bathroom. He goes out on snow mornings and cleans off my car (and warms it up) so I can drive in comfort. He cooks my meat for me, just because it grosses me out and that way I don't have to deal with it. He's the best snuggler ever and he rubs my back when I can't sleep. He listens to me ramble with a kind face and a gentle laugh when I catch myself. He has driven over 60 miles to pick me up from work because I didn't feel well; this man and his heart. He buys me flowers for no special occasion... just because. He laughs at my jokes, even when I can't get them right (and most of the time can't remember them). He completes my sentences and knows exactly what I'm thinking.

He adores me and is my very best friend.

He is the closest I've met to perfect, and I can't breath quite right when I think that we are together in this experience of life; this man and his big, full, wonderful heart.