Thursday, January 22, 2009

Writers Workshop.... a joyous moment

Mama Kat.... she just never fails to find good prompts for us all to work with. This week was no different. Stop by and visit her if you haven't had the opportunity.

So, this week there were some good prompts but only one REALLY stood out for me;

"other than the birth of a child or your wedding, write about a joyous moment"

You know, every time I look into my sons eyes when he's sleeping I experience pure joy. Every time my husband holds me in his arms, I feel it.

But really, when I get right down to it... right at my core.... what makes me "joyous"?

It's who I am, who I've become. The person that allows me to feel all of the joy of those around me; the joy of family, of friends, of society, and of the earth itself.

So, I choose to speak to when I remember finally feeling joyous about me. The very first time. Growing up I had low self esteem. I thought that external influences were who/what provided validation for who I was and I honestly.... I didn't truly know who I was after all.

When I left home at 20, I thought the only way to be happy and "fulfilled" required that I always have a man around. He would prove my worth and I had to be make him my first priority, not me.

Finally, I decided that I deserved better. It was my action (or inaction) that would determine my self-worth and I was the one in control; no one else.

I became powerful. I became independent. I was even a bit selfish.

Thinking back on it now, what I remember most was just how thrilled I was with being who I was, where I was, and looking forward to my future.

It was when I TRULY became a women.

I came into my own, and boy did I own it!

I stayed up late, hung out with friends, went out when I felt like it, dated (and yes, slept with) who I wanted, called boys back only if I felt like it, and enjoyed life.

I laughed a lot. I danced a lot. It was joyous!

And you know what?

When I finally knew who I was; when I understood what I wanted and needed out of life, LOVE found me. I was open to accepting TRUE and UNCONDITIONAL love and it was right there, just waiting for me.

And that was joyous. Life has been joyous ever since.

Because I am enough.


Diane said...

Whoa... your last couple of lines? Very, very wise words, my friend. I need to have them tattooed on my forehead.

Hey Mama where's my... said...

Great story! I got married the first time and didn't even know who I was. After that marriage dissolved, I decided the rest of my life was going to be about ME! Found a wonderful man who thinks it should be that way too!!

Saundra@ItalianMamaGoneCrazy said...

oH.... GIRL!!!!

That was inspiring!!!

It is a crying shame when so many women are trapped in their mindset that a man will complete them.

NOOOOO! Men are and should be wonderful ADDITIONS to our lives... but not the whole life.

I am so glad you found YOU!

Namaste.. my friend... Namaste.

blueviolet said...

You are completely and totally beautiful. This is why I knew you instantly you were my friend. I could feel this radiating off of you. I love ya, D. :)

Melissa said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Great story. Love your blog and can't wait to read more.


Awesome post. Maybe you should teach self esteem classes to women who hvae none.


Amber said...

Well said. Everyone should feel that vaidated to meet their own needs. Good for you.

Momma said...

Beautifully written! More women need to be like this.

Heatherlyn said...

I found you from the mr. linky at the writers workshop. I enjoyed your post. And you are right.

Sometimes Sophia said...

I wish I'd been as smart as you when I was younger. You are marvelous, and your writing is beautiful. Loved reading this post.

Queenie Jeannie said...

Great post!!! I'm glad you found YOU!!!

Michelle said...

Thanks for sharing such awesome words! :)

Jennifer said...

WOW, very powerfeul last few lines.
Love found me too. I had not been ready before (even if I thought I was).

wendy said...

That is beautiful. I'm so happy for you. It takes some women their entire lives to get where you are...and, sadly, some never make it.

Go, YOU!

Jen said...

this is beautiful!

blognut said...

THIS is a beautiful post - love it!

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